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29 December 2009 @ 10:53 pm
They're Going Down The Crapper  
I waver once more.

Being stuck in my parent's house, I am forced to bear witness to a marriage doomed from the start. Everyday. Especially on the days that I try to sleep in as only a hallway separates me from them and they just love to start fighting before the sun's waist touches the horizon. Obviously, the answer is to move out.

Yes, thank you. I'm working on that, even if it involves moving all of my worldly possessions in my tiny car, Fawkes, and going where ever the wind should take me. See, it's a little car and a decent storm might actually lift me up into the air and hopefully dump me in Laputa. *crosses fingers*

I'm posting this because this isn't the only marriage that I am forced to watch slowly degrade over time before the head finally dies on it's own accord taking the body with it. It sucks. Personally, I've always preferred the clean break. I don't believe that's going to happen in either case.

I mention this only because it's caused me to take stock of myself; think and overthink and counterthink. After watching this mockery of such a sacred sacrament, I'm no longer sure what I want from out a relationship. I thought that for sure I wanted to follow suit, find a nice girl, settle down, and then have as many kids as we possible could. However, I am now not sure that I can find someone with whom I could possibly put up with for the rest of my life or that would put up with me until either I croaked or they did. Two wrongs don't make a right, essentially, and do I ever have two examples of how to go about it wrong!

The worst part is...I'm starving.

I want some tiny morsel in which to sink my teeth into, but I also want something a bit more meaningful and longer lasting. CONUNDRUM! It's damn conflicting, it is.

I seek a resolution, but I feel that I won't be able to find that for a while. The landscape needs to shift around a little bit and until then...I'll just have to suck it up, I guess. Thanks for listening!